what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
