and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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