Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
