Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just pynch a tree in the face
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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