I wanna passion pit in your ass
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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