The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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