Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
