I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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