Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
