A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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