is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
