I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
