It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You are a genius and a whore.
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