just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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