I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize