I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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