last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
