at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
