You work out of a Hotel?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
