It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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