i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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