dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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