Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
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If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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