Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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