One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
