So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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