just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
