she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
