it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
