how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
