There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
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You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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