how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The uberlube is also flammable
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
