my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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