if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
