Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
