your parents love me but you hate me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday