Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.