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It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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