ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
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Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless