Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I FOUND THE LEGS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
