went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm