why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.