me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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