You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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