Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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