somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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