You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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