I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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