Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
