ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
