I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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