It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
