What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
