just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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