omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
