Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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