I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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