I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
