Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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