Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
