I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
