Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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