Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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