Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
